Crying Out
by Smex Lemur
Summary: Ren notices something different about the Ainu. Songfic, one shot. RenHoro


**Disclaimer: Don't own Shaman King, don't own the song.**

**Crying Out**

_Don't use a weakness_

"Idiot!"

"Shaman King? You? Don't make me laugh!"

"How could a loser ever accomplish something like that? Give up already!"

He lied there, face buried in the grass. He tried to shut out their voices, but didn't succeed. Why did he let himself get beaten? He believed in his dream, so why did he let them get to him like that?

_Maybe… because I was always called a loser._

"Let's get out of here, this guy's weak,"

With one last kick to his stomach, the party of three left him lying in the woods, covered in blood and bruises. No one would find him there and he knew he had to get up, but his body wouldn't move. So he stayed and thought. After moments of lying still, he fell into a restless sleep.

--

_The next morning_

"Good morning everyone!" He yelled at the top of his lunges. Yoh responded with a grin, Ren gave a simple 'hn' and Manta smiled at him. The rest had apparently not arrived, much to the annoyance of Ren, who hated waiting.

"Hey… how did you get that scratch on your cheek Horo?" Yoh inquired, pointing his finger at said scratch. Horo's grin momentarily faltered, but quickly put it back into place. "And… that bruise on your forehead? Did something happen?" Horo quickly shook his head and started to rub his neck, as he always did whenever he became nervous. It was a habit of his and this fact didn't escape Ren.

_Don't change the subject_

"Nah, I just fell last night when I got back to the room," he responded. He grinned wider. "I guess I should lay off the girls for a while- man, they can't even give me a second of sleep!"

"Eh? Really?" Yoh asked, looking confused. Since when did Horo have a girlfriend? Horo's face dropped immediately at the question.

"No."

"Where is everybody?" Before Yoh could respond to Horo, they heard a very familiar (and scary) female voice coming from behind them. They all turned around and faced the horror that was Anna- she stood there, arms crossed and glaring at them. "Never mind. It's not important- I'm only taking Yoh out for training today anyway. He needs it." Ren, Manta and Horo all gave him a sympathetic look as he walked off to face his doom- eh, training. Yeah.

Manta quickly said goodbye to the pair of them, before hurrying after Yoh and Anna. It left only Horo and Ren behind.

"I guess I'll be going too then, I need to train. If I don't, I'm sure Pirika will-" before he could continue, Ren had already grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the lake nearby. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Horo demanded, wincing at the touch of Ren. His arm still hurt, even though they were bandaged.

"I'm not an idiot," Ren hissed.

_Don't ask the questions, _

_If you fear the answer_

"I never said you were one!" Horo quickly said. Ren's grip on his wrist tightened and he hissed in pain.

"That's not what I meant, moron," Ren said, scowling at the Ainu. "You don't think I noticed? Yoh and Manta might be stupid, but I'm not- what happened?" Horo looked away from Ren's penetrating gaze- he didn't want to answer him. And why should he? It's not like Ren was any better… it wasn't like Ren really cared.

"Why do you want to know?" Horo demanded eventually and for a moment, he could see a hint of worry in Ren's eyes. But it was soon replaced with the familiar emptiness.

"Because you are my team-mate, I need to know if something happened," Ren answered finally.

_You look distorted,  
Lets make you clearer,  
Lets flip the switch and use the smoke and mirrors_

"That's it?" Horo said, freeing himself from the tight grip. Ren looked taken aback. "I'm only a member of your team? That's the only reason why you want to know?"

"That's not the point here, Horo! You know that I-"

"That you what, Ren?" Horo interrupted him. "That you only seem to care about me when the chance of you becoming Shaman King is in danger?"

"That's not-"

"No, just leave me alone!" Horo yelled. For a brief moment, Ren caught the glimpse of bandages around his wrist as Horo threw them up in the air and he grabbed them for the second time that day. Horo's shocked look told him enough, but he still wanted to see the damage for himself.

_Re-invent yourself today  
Re-invent your world today_

"What happened?" Ren demanded once again as he pulled up Horo's sleeve, revealing his arm. It was completely covered in bandages and, when he took a second look before Horo pulled away his arm, he could see blood coming through them, red dots appearing, especially in the area of his wrists. Horo shook his head- he didn't want to tell him. How would Ren react? He would think he was pathetic and weak- unable to look out for himself. He would think that he was a loser.

_But Ren already thinks that…_

He shook his head again and put away the thought.

"Horo," Ren whispered, concern obvious. He let his eyes wander over the Ainu's entire body, how many wounds did he have? "What happened? Tell me, please," he said softly and slowly, as if speaking to a young child. Ren had never been good with emotions- not with expressing them, or having others express their emotions to him. But he wanted to know what was wrong with Horo- he wanted to help him.

_Why doesn't he trust me?_

Ren longed for the Ainu's trust, though he wasn't expecting it. All those months of consistent insulting him and provoking him did the trick.

_Crying out for the last time,  
Clear a space for the warning signs_

Horo looked at the object of affection with longing eyes. Why? Why did he have to show concern for him _now_? Wasn't it too late for that? Ren had always insulted him, always made him feel like… like he wasn't a person, like he really was a loser. And why didn't Horo hate him for that?

_Because I just love him…_

He didn't know why. Ren had always insulted him no matter what he did… Ren had always put him down, in front of his friends, in front of Pirika- it didn't matter when or how, he just did. It hadn't hurt him so much while he did so at the time, but now that Ren wanted to know what had happened to him, it made him angrier. And sad.

_Crying out for the last time,  
And there's no turning back now that you've opened up to your mind_

"Why?" Horo whispered, fists shaking. His fingernails dug in his skin as he spoke, but he didn't notice the pain- all he wanted to do now, was fight back the tears in his eyes. "Why do you care?" He said, now louder. He was almost screaming. "You've never cared before! Why do you have to confuse me so, Ren? Just when I thought I was beginning to hate you, you do this to me." He didn't notice the hurt look in Ren's face as he spoke. He had moved his eyes away from the Chinese boy and had been constantly looking to his feet.

"Hate me?" Ren asked.

"Yes," Horo replied, whispering the one word. "Hate you. Like you hate me." A lonely tear streamed down his face.

_What guides your vision,  
What holds the balance,  
Don't think that I can't see you shake and tremble_

Ren chuckled softly at the statement. "I don't hate you, idiot," he said. Horo didn't mind the insult, not this time… the way Ren had said it, it seemed as if he meant it in a loving sort of way. Ren lifted his hand and wiped the tear away with his thumb, his hand lingering near Horo's cheek and eventually caressing it. "Stop shaking and tell me what happened."

_Well I know you're nervous,_

_This world is scary,  
You have to let go all the madness you carry_

"Ren," the Ainu whispered, enjoying the soft touch. Unconsciously, he lifted his own hand and grabbed the one on his cheek, holding it there. "I…"

"Just tell me, please," Ren pleaded once more. Horo sighed.

"Last night, I ran into three people,"

"Three people?"

"Yeah. They… took me to the forest," he continued, his voice hoarse. He swallowed hard, before continuing. "There, the started to punch and kick me, I couldn't move."

"Why didn't you fight them off? You're strong!" Ren said, almost yelling to the idiot- he was getting angry. But it wasn't because Horo hadn't fought them off or because those three guys had started to beat him up. No, it was because Ren hadn't been there to help him, to protect him.

"I did, at first. I got mad at them, because they kept insulting me and my family. I quickly lost my Furyoku and… well, they beat me," Ren nodded in response. It was still a stupid thing for him to do, lose control of himself, but it was understandable. Ren might have done the same thing if he had been in his place. "In the forest they broke my snowboard and told me I could never become Shaman King… that I was too weak… and that you only used me until you were far enough to fight on your own, that I was nothing but a tool for you." He gave a bitter smile at the memory. "I guess that was the worst thing they said to me." Ren flinched at the confession and now noticed that his hand was still lingering on Horo's cheek- something that made him blush. He quickly shook the thought off, but didn't remove his hand.

_Re-invent yourself today,  
Re-invent your world today_

"Horo, what they said wasn't true," Ren stated firmly. Horo chuckled, but it wasn't his usual cheerful chuckle- it was more a sarcastic one, or a snort. Whatever it was, it wasn't normal for Horo to make such a sound.

Then again, it wasn't normal for Horo to even be this depressed.

"What they said wasn't true?" He hissed, looking back up to Ren for the first time since the conversation had started. "How about all those times you called me an idiot? Or when you called me weak? Don't fucking tell me that what they said wasn't true, when you say those things all the time to me!" Horo yelled. He reluctantly pulled himself away from Ren's hand, but immediately regretted it- he missed the warmth and the comfort.

And, before he even knew what he was doing, Ren took one step closer to Horo and pulled him into a deep kiss.

_There is no turning back now,  
Everything you've ever wanted_

Horo's first impulsion was to fight against it, but as soon as he felt two arms wrap themselves around his neck, pulling him closer, he was lost. He pulled Ren closer and let his tongue slide over the younger boy's bottom lip, granting him access almost immediately. Did Ren want this as much as he did?

_Everything in this moment  
There is no turning back now_

Horo's arms were around Ren's waist, pulling him closer. Horo wanted to feel the heat radiating from his body, he wanted to feel _Ren_, before this dream was all over. Before Ren would start hating him again.

Eventually, they parted to catch their breaths. The Ainu seemed to have gone in a state of shock, as soon as he had realised what they had just done. Ren just had a goofy smirk on his face.

"Ren…" Horo said, still shocked and confused and… well, everything else one could feel after the person who hated him just kissed him senseless. Ren just chuckled once more, before he sat down against a tree from where he could see the beautiful lake. He tugged on Horo's hand, a silent request for him to join the other Shaman. Horo sat down and was surprised when one arm snaked itself around his waist and pulled him towards Ren.

"I've been wanting to do that for quite some time now," Ren murmured softly.

"Ren, I think we need to-"

"Talk? We did that for almost half an hour just now. But…" A hesitant pause. "Let's just stay like this."

--

**A/N: Gwar… yes… gwar… o.o do you know what that sounds like? Try pronouncing it, it sounds funny… anyway, that's the first thought that popped into my head when I wrote the last sentence. Mehehe. Another little one shot- I've been doing a lot of those… I really should continue my other fics, damn it o.o don't worry though, I'm very busy working on them… I just lost my muse for them, temporarily. Expect updates soon though! **

**I apologise for any OOCness. Horo is extremely OOC, but.. nyah o.o dunno, it somehow fits in my mind. Everybody has a right to be depressed! xD **

**  
The song is called _Crying Out _and it is by _Shinedown_, one of my favourite bands! n.n **


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